Bewitched, Bothered and Blundered
by JamesMFan
Summary: Set in Season 7. Anya performs an anti love spell which accidentally affects Spike instead of herself. Now, Buffy has to deal with the fact that Spike doesn't love her anymore but it shouldn't matter to her...should it?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine and I'm not making any profit from writing this. If I was, I'd update a hell of a lot sooner. **

**A/N:Set in Season 7 after "Touched" but before "End of Days". I've taken a bit of a liberty with the time line, and kind of dulled down the urgency of a little thing I like to call THE APOCALYPSE! But that's my perogative as an arteest. So deal with it. **

**Bewitched, Bothered, and Blundered**

The bathroom floor was cold and uninviting in the early hours of the morning. She thought about suggesting to Buffy that they get a carpet or a rug or something in here. Or at least provide everyone with comfy slippers. Surely, that was a common courtesy thing at every motel? That was, after all, what the Summer's residence was beginning to resemble.

Dozens of unruly girls sleeping everywhere, crap thrown all over the floor, their personal hygiene questionable at best. It was enough to make an ex-vengeance demon feel horribly displaced.

However, she was getting distracted. She had to focus on the spell or it wouldn't work. The others wouldn't like her dabbling with magic, not when The First was able to manipulate the black arts to its own needs. Xander would probably have a hernia if he knew what she was doing in his precious Buffy's house.

_Xander_.

It was his fault she was even squatting down on the cold floor in the dim light of the candles, the toilet pressing painfully into her back. They _really_ needed a bigger bathroom. It had been only a few hours since she and Xander had had sex and already he was taking over her thoughts and feelings! Making her feel like he was hers again. She knew that wasn't so. Xander had made it clear that they were over, and she'd agreed.

Didn't mean she stopped loving him, though.

But she could try.

That's why she sat in a circle of salt, candles dotted around the floor, and a love charm rested carefully before her. Anya had had enough.

This was her only way out of loving him – an anti-love spell.

She knew they were volatile and prone to go hilariously awry but she was eleven hundred years old, she wasn't some stupid amateur!

Okay, so she had made the occasional mistake...like bringing Evil Willow into the wrong reality but that wasn't her fault. And yes, she might have distracted Willow which ended up summoning her old beau Olaf into town but, again, that had been an accident. In fact, Anya blamed Willow entirely for both of those errors.

Here she was, by herself, just doing a little spell. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

...as long as she didn't conjure up rabbits again...

Anya shuddered.

"Think, Anya, _think_!" She whispered to herself.

She really had a problem with concentration. Readying herself with a deep breath, she closed the circle of salt around her and closed her eyes, her fingers resting on the love charm. It began to glow.

"_Let the ties of love be broken,_

_Adoration, Obsession, Desire_

_End them once these words are –"_

Spike barrelled through the door, cigarette hanging from his lips "Buffy? Is that –"

"– _spoken_" Anya finished simultaneously.

A flash of white light flooded the bathroom and an unseen force propelled Spike backwards out of the door, slamming him into the corridor wall. Anya blinked, looking around as her eyes adjusted. She grabbed at her chest wondering if her heart felt any different beneath her skin.

"Xander" Anya said to herself, testing.

A flutter of butterflies started in her stomach, a feeling of warmth spread throughout her body

"Death and damnation!" She lamented.

It hadn't worked. She looked up at Spike who was still sprawled on the floor looking dazed and more than a little confused.

Rising, Anya folded her arms over her chest "Spike! You just ruined my spell, you attractive dolt!"

He blinked up at her "I was...looking for...the Slayer. For some reason"

"Well, whatever the reason – it ruined my spell," Anya huffed "Aren't you going to apologize?"

Spike leaned against the wall and used it to help himself stand "Um, _no_. It's not a good idea to be messing around with magic's so close to an apocalypse, love"

She rolled her eyes "What are you going to do? Tell your darling Buffy?"

"Ha!" Spike sounded indignant "Run to the Slayer? I don't think so, pet. What do you take me for? Some whipped Angelus-type?"

Anya waited a beat "Well, yeah"

"Not on your nelly!"

She reached over and prodded his head "Are you concussed? You're acting kind of peculiar"

Spike smacked her hand away "What are you on?"

"You always run and tattle to Buffy," She reminded him "It's kind of your _thing_, now"

He frowned "I do not!"

"You do too," She pointed at him "It's seems that every man who falls in love with her, automatically loses his testicles!"

Spike's mouth opened wide in offence "Hey! Take that back. Me, in love with _her_? I don't bloody think so!"

Anya frowned "What? You're..."

She paused. Spike saying he wasn't in love with Buffy was like an American saying they had faith in President Bush. It just wasn't possible. Anya turned to look at the anti-love charm on the bathroom floor.

"Oh, rectum!"

**A/N: Oh, rectum indeed.** **Spike not in love with Buffy? Can you hear hell freezing over, too?**


	2. Chapter 2

Buffy held on to Faith tightly, using her strength to support the injured Slayer while gripping the axe-type weapon thing she had taken from Caleb's lair. Injured Potentials flanked her on both sides as they traipsed up the street towards Buffy's house.

The Slayer glanced down at the weapon in her hands. It felt good to be holding it. She knew that, somehow, it was _hers_. It belonged to the Slayer.

However, her biggest concern right now was getting Faith and the others back inside and safe. They had taken a heavy blow – not all of them had survived the last mission. Buffy thought back to the Vineyard and cringed. She knew how Faith would feel when she woke up. She'd feel responsible, she'd blame herself.

_There are always casualties in war._

A wise man had told her that. It never rang more true than this year. It seemed to be one big loss. Molly, Annabelle, Chloe...the list went on. Buffy knew it would continue to lengthen and there was nothing she could do about it.

She reached the door to her house – the house she had been kicked out of last night – and kicked the door open. Buffy was taking it back.

People inside rushed towards the door in panic, looking only slightly relieved that it was her instead of some agent of the First. When they saw the state of the Potentials and Faith any and all relief fled from their faces. Buffy handed Faith over to Giles and Xander instructing them to take her up stairs to her room to rest.

Within moments of returning home the floor to her house was full of the casualites of this war. Some of them looking bruised and shaken, others in far worse health. Buffy took a moment to look out on the carnage before her. Then she turned away.

Anya was standing right behind her, looking sheepish. She never looked sheepish. Something was up.

"What's up?" Buffy asked simply.

"Nothing," Anya dug her hands deep in her pockets and shrugged, smiling brightly "Nothing is up. Except maybe death rates"

Buffy frowned as Anya laughed nervously.

"Anya," She said slowly "What's going on?"

The ex-demon let out a deep sigh "Oh, fine! There's no getting past that steely gaze of yours. No wonder Xander is always following your orders like a big pansy, he –"

"Anya!" Buffy interrupted sternly, worry creeping into her voice.

"I broke Spike"

"You...what?"

She started gesticulating wildly "It wasn't my fault, though! He should learn to respect that when a woman's in the bathroom, she needs some privacy!"

Buffy gaped "Are you saying Spike walked in on you?"

"Yes"

She gaped further.

Anya looked at her "What? Oh, no. Not like _that_. Ew. Not that he hasn't seen it all already, what with the whole sexual intercourse last year –"

"Anya," Buffy reprimanded her again, "really not wanting to rehash over that again"

"Right" She nodded "I was, well, you see I was...doing a spell"

The Slayer folded her arms "A spell? What kind of spell? Is Spike okay?"

"It was a love spell –"

"You hit Spike with a love spell?" Buffy's eyes went wide "Are you nuts? He's obsessive enough _without_ a spell heightening things! Okay, maybe obsessive isn't the word...no, actually I think it is. _Anya_!"

She held up her hands "It's not what you think! It's was an anti-love spell! See, so maybe it's a good thing?"

Buffy just looked at her "An anti-love spell? Huh?"

"I was going to do a spell on myself so that I could stop loving Xander, and then proceed to have sex with many handsome and debonair males...without constantly thinking of his cute chubby face and that annoyingly sexy eye patch..."

Buffy paused "But Spike's okay, right? He's...okay?" her voice trailed off to barely a whisper at the end.

"Oh, sure, he's fine!" Anya laughed a little too gaily "Fit as a fiddler. The only thing different is that _heisntinlovewithyou_"

She pulled a face "What did you say?"

The brunette sighed, "He isn't in love with you anymore, Buffy."

Buffy didn't know what to say to that. She didn't even know how to feel. The Slayer just stood rooted to the spot as Anya continued to explain how it was _totally_ not her fault. The words didn't register though.

A Potential bumped into Buffy knocking her out of her trance and she blinked, looking around. Turning away from Anya who was still babbling on, Buffy made her way towards the kitchen. Somehow she knew he was in there. It was this weird bond that had developed between them this last year and may have even been there before.

She was still holding the axe and her hands had started to sweat, making the handle slick. Buffy felt strange as she walked towards the kitchen, stepping over the bodies of fallen girls. Her heart was pounding in her ears and her breathing sounded way too loud.

And there he was.

Standing with his backto her at the microwave, watching a mug of what had to be blood turn around slowly in the machine. She was reminded of last night. They had talked, and slept together – for the first time without sex, without agenda's – just enjoying each other's company. To Buffy it had meant pretty much everything that he had come looking for her after everyone else turned away.

It made her realise, really _understand_, that Spike did love her. He didn't say it to get laid. He didn't say it because he thought she wanted to hear it. When he gave his heart to someone it wasn't lightly.

Last night was the first night she had actually let him love her.

"Oh, Slayer," Spike turned around, eyeing her casually "you're back. Bringing quite a commotion with you too, I see"

_Slayer_.

He hadn't called her that in a long time.

Just when she was getting used to them being just Buffy and Spike.

The Powers That Be hated her. It was clear.

He took a step closer, peering over her shoulder at the living room "The girls alright?"

It was simple question, but Buffy's focus was on his eyes. Now she knew.

Spike didn't love her.


	3. Chapter 3

Why was she staring at him like that?

Spike didn't have an answer, just knew it was bloody annoying. Ever since he'd gotten his soul back everyone looked at him strangely. Like they thought he might snap at any moment and start mimicking the dance moves for Britney Spears' "_Hit Me Baby One More Time_". Not likely. It would be a hell of a show, but not likely.

He gave her a questioning eyebrow quirk but the dim girl didn't seem to catch on. Shrugging, he turned back to the microwave as it dinged. He opened the door and pulled out the hot mug, wincing as it burnt his hand. It would nice if they had some oven mitts around but that sod Andrew was always nicking them for nefarious purposes. Spike shuddered, _best not to think too much about that_.

"Spike"

He took a sip from the mug and turned back to the Slayer "Yeah?"

"...how...how are you?" She asked, trying for casual and failing.

Spike frowned, surprised at the question "Well. You know. Alright, s'pose. 'Cept for getting zapped by Anya, but I got over that"

"Yeah, about that..." Buffy leaned against the counter, eyes looking everywhere but at him "...uh, so, what do you remember?"

"Anya doing a spell in your bog, me walking in – the innocent party, I might add, and then _boom –_

Spike in orbit"

She smiled a little, nodding "And before that?"

He gave her a half shrug "What's this about?"

"Oh, nothing," She sighed "I guess we'll look into Willow fixing you"

The Slayer turned to go but he reached out and grabbed her arm. She turned back to him, surprised and if he wasn't mistaken, a little hopeful. Spike let go of her arm and shook his head reproachfully.

"Fixing me? I don't need fixing" He told her "Sure, I got a bit of a bruise on the noggin' but nothing a nice cup of blood won't fix"

Buffy opened her mouth, then closed it before trying again "You really don't remember, do you?"

"Slayer, you're making even less sense than the geek boy does"

The Slayer held her hands up "Okay. I don't want to alarm you here or anything but...you're in love with me"

Spike just looked at her. He tried to figure out in his mind if she, the Slayer, had really just said that to him. They were grudging allies, sure, and he didn't _not_ like her if he was truthful but love? She'd gone barmy. Okay, he'd admit that she was pretty. Gorgeous even, if not a bit too skinny for his tastes. But if she put a bit of fat on her bones he might think about having a poke. Lust was one thing, though; love was an entirely different matter. Spike had never loved anyone other than Drusilla and his mother but it was better not to get into that.

Unless, of course, this was some bizarre way for the Slayer to tell him that _she_ was in love with _him_. It made a strange kind of sense. The way she had been looking at him recently, how she kept him close to her in battle. Truth be told his memories of the recent past where a little blurry but he definitely remembered her being a little bit touchy feely with him. If this was the case then Spike was flattered. Perhaps he'd even rub it in Angelus' face the next time they crossed path. Tell him how his girl had finally acquired some taste when it came to men.

However, first he had to deal with the here and now.

"Look, Buffy," He placed his mug down on the counter and placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to come off as sensitive as possibly "It's understandable. We work in close quarters, I do have a raw sex appeal but it's probably just a crush. Heaven knows, we'd make a rotten couple. Best if you just skip off with Harris or someone equally as...cuddly"

Buffy stared at him incredulously "Are...are _you_ giving me the brush off?"

Spike sighed, patted her shoulder "It's hard to be on the wrong side of unrequited love, I imagine. You're a good looking girl; you'll find someone better suited to you. Now, if you'll excuse me I promised Dawn that I'd beat her at gin again"

The vampire picked up his mug of blood again and brushed past the Slayer. It had been one hell of day. First the spell malarkey and now the Slayer having a thing for him. Spike smiled to himself. _I've_ _still got it._

_---------------------_

Buffystood; arms folded looking at Willow with a death glare. The redhead witch looked back at her sympathetically but didn't wilt under the Slayer's gaze. They stood in Buffy's bedroom, or what had once been her bedroom, that now housed Faith. The brunette Slayer was sleeping like a baby, zonked out from almost getting blown up. It had to be a tough on a girl.

"That doesn't make _any_ kind of sense!" Buffy stated, gesticulating wildly.

Willow shrugged "Well, that's magick for you"

"But why does Spike have to agree to have the spell reversed? He didn't agree to have it cast on him in the first place!"

"But the spell doesn't know that. Anya consciously performed the spell, and it just happened to leap into Spike. Magick can't differentiate like that. And an anti-anti-love spell _always_ has to be performed by the person who was affected by the anti-love spell in the first place. Wait. Did that make sense?" Willow frowned.

"No!"

She sighed "Put it this way – if you willingly perform an anti-love spell you have to willingly perform a reversal of the spell too. So, Spike – being the subject of the spell – would have to undo the spell himself"

Buffy groaned, rubbing the bridge of her nose "Are you sure you couldn't do it?"

"I'm sure," Willow replied "And even if it was possible...love spells are strong magick and with The First around, I wouldn't feel too chipper about doing it"

The Slayer nodded, resigned "I guess he's stuck like this then"

"Well, is that bad? I mean, he's still got the soul. He's still helping out. There are no downsides to the outcome of the spell"

Buffy looked at her "There are downsides for me"

Willow's eyes softened "There was a time when you'd have welcomed the 'Spike not loving you' with a parade. And cake."

"Yeah, well...that time has passed" She sat down on the edge of the bed careful not to squash Faith.

"So, maybe there's some reciprocation of the feelings?" Willow asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

Buffy shook her head, smiling "Willow"

"Oh, come on Buffy. I'm your best friend, here. We haven't had a girly talk since...well, since forever. And you never talk about Spike. When Angel was around I couldn't get you to shut up about him. Same with Riley. It was all 'Angel said this', or 'Riley did that' blah di blah blah"

Buffy pouted "You never complained"

"And I'm not now," She assured her "It's just you're all withdrawn and un-Buffy-like"

She shrugged "I guess...I guess I just thought you didn't want to know. I mean, you guys have never liked Spike. With good reason. So, keeping things to myself seemed like a good idea"

Willow sat next to Buffy and smiled "Well, I'm all ears now. Not literally, thankfully, like that one demon we fought – remember?"

"Mr. Pieterson's English class. There were lobes flying everywhere. How could I forget?"

The witch's smile turned to a grin "So?"

"I don't know...I mean a part of me has always just kept the Spike stuff to myself because...because I wanted something for myself, you know?"

She nodded "Oh yeah. It started out with me and Tara like that. But, eventually, you have to come out of the closet, so to speak. Feelings can only stay bottled up for so long before they start popping corks and spraying...I'm going to stop right there"

Buffy laughed "There's my Willow. Always cheering me up in the face of gloominess"

"So, about Spike –"

Rona burst through the door without knocking, her braids flying around her "Buffy, we've got an emergency"

The Slayer jumped up "What is it? Is everyone okay?"

"Vi's eaten all the cookies"

A small voice could be heard shouting "I did not!"

Buffy rolled her eyes and turned to Willow "To be continued"

She walked out of the room and down the stairs to the battleground that was her living room.


	4. Chapter 4

With the cookie crisis over Buffy sat in the armchair watching Spike and Dawn play cards, some of the girls had joined in too. In fact, the whole room was full of potential jabbering on about one thing or another, sitting on the floor reading, trying to sleep. Buffy watched the vampire and her sister over the other side of the room and she felt distanced from them both. Not just the length of the living room distance, either.

She hadn't been the best sister to Dawn lately, what with her new gig as mentor to the girls. She would be the first to admit that she'd neglected her. It was a testament to Dawn's newfound maturity that she didn't wig out like last year. She understood that what Buffy was doing was important and, for once, family could not be put first.

Spike had understood what she had to do from the beginning. In fact, he'd taken some of the weight off her shoulders. Joining her on patrol, training the girls, generally shouldering some of the responsibility when it was all left up to Buffy. He hadn't asked for anything from her since he got back – not forgiveness, not love, not anything. It was because of his willingness to just accept that she couldn't give him those things that a bond had been forged between them. He didn't expect anything when they patrolled together, didn't want some sort of reward for helping out. Spike just simply wanted to help.

Buffy finally felt like they had been getting somewhere. She respected him now and herself. She respected that whatever decision she made about any kind of relationship between them – friendship, co-worker, _whatever_ – would be the right one, because she knew him now. The real him. And that went for herself too.

Of course, that had all gone to hell now. He was acting differently. Still polite enough, or as polite as Spike got, but he wasn't himself. Buffy never realised that Spike's love for her played such an important part in his progression. She knew he'd gotten the soul for her but she didn't realise he'd be a different man entirely by not loving her anymore.

"Buffy!" Andrew squeaked right in her ear, causing her to jump.

She rubbed the side of her head and looked at him "What is it, Andrew?"

"Someone has stolen my very valuable, in-mint-condition, Amazing Spiderman Issue 24!"

Buffy looked at him, gormless "So?"

"It's very valuable!"

"Where did you get it? You haven't even left the house since we scooped you out of the gutter"

Andrew pouted "I was not in the gutter; I was in the butcher's shop. You don't understand what this means to me!"

He turned on his heel and flounced off back into the kitchen.

Buffy shook her head and looked back over at the card game. Dawn had just trounced Spike and he did not seem happy about it. He accused her of cheating and stood up professing that he needed a drink after being beaten at poker by a girl.

The Slayer followed him with her eyes as he walked around the cluster of girls and into the kitchen. She hesitated, not knowing if she should try to talk to him again or wait for him to come to her. _What if he doesn't come to me? What if he never comes to see me again?_

Buffy stood quickly and went the way he had gone. She needed to sort all this out as soon as possible, they were in the middle of an apocalypse, and there was no time for skirting around issues. When she entered the kitchen Spike was already pouring himself a glass of brandy that Giles must have brought into the house. Andrew was watching the microwave go around and around with a marshmallow in it, a trick he had learnt from Dawn, Buffy was sure.

She wandered over and stood next to the counter by Spike, casually. He glanced at her then looked back down. Sensing she wasn't going anywhere he turned to face her full-on.

"Somethin' I can help you with, Slayer?"

Buffy nodded "Yeah. You could do a little spell for me"

He frowned, capping the bottle "Spell? For what?"

"Breaking this anti-love spell you've been affected by"

Spike sighed, and put the bottle back in the cupboard "I've told you, I'm alright. Nothing happened. The spell probably just bounced off me and disintegrated"

Buffy shook her head "No, Spike. You're under a spell, trust me"

"And why should I? You're the Slayer. I'm a vampire," He arched an eyebrow "I wouldn't put it past you to try and play some nasty practical joke on me. Probably have bets going with your pals about how long it'll take to get me to sit naked in a barn and chant the national anthem or whatever this so-called 'spell' entails"

"I would never do that," Buffy announced, then she paused thinking "Although that would be kind of funny..."

Spike rolled his eyes and scooped up his glass. He started to walk past her but Buffy ran around and blocked his exit, hands up in the air to indicate she wasn't going to pummel him. Spike grunted and gave her a 'get on with it' expression.

She cleared her throat, shifted from foot to foot "Spike, you're in love with me. I know...I know it sounds crazy. It _is_ crazy but it's also true. I don't really understand why you love me but you do. You've proven that"

"How so?"

"You got your soul for me"

Spike snorted "Ha! No, I did _not_"

"So, why'd you get it then?"

"I..." Spike frowned "I...I just felt like it. I don't know. It was an impulse"

Buffy folded her arms "An impulse to travel to the other side of the Earth, pass horrible demon trials, and get a soul?"

"Well...yes"

She laughed "You do realise how absurd that is?"

Spike pointed at her "No where near as absurd as saying that I'm in love with you"

"Yeah, well, you better get used to that idea, buddy"

"You've gone insane again! I don't know why I didn't see it before," Spike said then turned and yelled "Giles! Buffy's having mental ward hallucinations again!"

Buffy slapped her hand over his mouth "I am not!"

Spike brushed her hand away "What am I in these delusions? Some handsome janitor?"

"I am _not_ delusional! You're delusional!" She jabbed her finger against his chest.

"Look, love, nothing you can say –"

"We had sex!"

Spike stopped speaking.

"Ah ha!" Buffy nodded, pleased with herself "We had sex many different times, many different ways. That was some memorable sex!"

He looked her up and down "I think I'd remember that. You have an overactive imagination, Slayer. I'm sure you've _fantasised _about it but –"

"Spike," She stepped up closer to him "We knocked a building down. We had sex in the Bronze. We had invisible sex! Okay, technically, it was only me who was invisible but still!"

He pushed past her "As appealing as that all sounds, you're off your rocker"

"What is it gonna take to prove to you that you love me!" She cried, then paused "That sentence made no sense"

"You're really serious about this?"

"Yes," Buffy replied, softly.

Spike scratched his chin "Well, then, I guess you'll have to show me a good time"

Her eyes widened "Oh my god! Are you trying to get me to sleep with you? No way, mister, I've been down that route before and it's not –"

"No. I mean, yeah. That would be nice but it's not what I meant," Spike downed his brandy and placed the glass on the counter "To get me to do this spell...you're gonna have to prove to me that I should love you. I think you should ask me out"

Buffy opened and closed her mouth "Like...a date?"

"Yeah"

"We...we don't...date"

Spike shrugged, and started to leave "Then I guess the spell will never get done"

"Okay, wait!" She grabbed his arm "Okay, I'll go out on a date with you"

He turned back to her and shook his head "No, Slayer, _you_ ask _me_"

Buffy looked at him, trying to determine if he was serious or if this was all a joke. His face seemed genuine enough, if not a little amused at the whole situation. Could she really ask Spike out on a date? It flew in the face of every one of her principals. Okay, maybe not _every_ one. She had slept with Spike; surely she could go on one lousy date. Or, fantastic date, as he seemed to expect. To get her Spike back she'd do whatever it took.

"Spike, will you go out with me tonight?" Buffy asked, not blushing at _all._ _No way._

Spike tilted his head and a slow smile spread across his face "Yeah, all right then. Pick me up at seven, Slayer. I'm _so_ excited"

He shook his head and left. Buffy took a deep breath and vacated through a different door, wondering what she had gotten herself into.

Andrew remained in the kitchen; eyebrows raised "A building fell down? Didn't that, like, hurt?"


	5. Chapter 5

Buffy stared at her reflection in the mirror, questioning to herself what exactly she thought she was doing. They were in the middle of an apocalypse, Faith was badly hurt and the Potentials were scared as hell. And she was going on a date with Spike.

At any time that would have seemed ridiculous but with all the other stuff going on around her it was absolutely farcical. If Buffy was still in the frame of mind to let Giles have a say in her life, she knew he would be giving her a long and boring lecture about the importance of focusing on the peril their lives were in and not on hugs and kisses. Not that she was expecting any of that to go on tonight. This was just going to be a casual _non-date_ date. Just two friends, going out. If they were even friends. Were they friends? She didn't know. They had a lot of history behind them, a lot of it bad history...but she trusted Spike now and he was the one she tended to confide in these days. So, Buffy guessed, they must be friends. Friends with a sordid past. Not that it mattered though, all this over-analysing, it wasn't that big of a deal.

Yet here she was all gussied up in last season's clothes, Willow fussing with her hair, and those annoying butterflies in her stomach. She should have just gone out dressed in her casual Buffy attire, if they were just all about the "good friend" deal. The clothes she was wearing tonight were definitely her date clothes. Not that she'd had a date in a long time, not since Robin, but that was best left in the past.

A simple knee length black skirt and low-cut white spaghetti strap top never went out of style. Willow had given her the thumbs up and a wolf-whistle at the unveiling of the outfit. And Buffy's experience was that when your lesbian best friend was eyeing you up, you'd done good.

"I'm thinking the hair should be down," Willow started fluffing up her hair with her fingers.

Buffy frowned, looking in the mirror "Really? I was thinking up"

"I'm going to have to pull best friend rank on you and say down," She continued to play with the Slayer's hair "You're not going military tonight, Buffy. Tonight is all about the _lovin_'"

She glared at the witch in the mirror "There will be no loving"

"Maybe not on his side" Willow grinned.

Buffy elbowed her gently in the ribs "If I have my hair down then it'll seem like I want to...let my hair down"

"Uh, Buffy," Willow quirked an eyebrow "You do. It's a date. It's time to cut loose and get rowdy"

She shook her head "No. No..._rowdiness_. Just talking and convincing"

"Convincingly trying to get him into bed?"

Buffy gasped "Willow!"

The redhead laughed "What? I can be the overtly inappropriate best friend when needed to further along the plot of the two lead's"

"Spike and I are not leads. We're not leading anywhere" She insisted, applying lipstick.

"Mmm hmm," Willow murmured "What flavour's your lipstick?"

Buffy looked at the pot "Strawberry"

"Ooh, _strawberry_. I bet Spike likes strawberry"

Buffy scowled at her "You know, you play the annoying friend routine a little too well, Rosenberg."

"I've honed my skills"

The Slayer gave in and smiled a little, thus inciting another infectious grin from her best friend. She turned back to herself in the mirror. With her hair down, actual make-up on her face and her slightly revealing clothes – perhaps more than slightly – she felt a little bit more like the Buffy of old. The one who had thought her life was tough back then when she had no idea how much worse it was going to get. She'd dated in high school, not a lot, but some. She'd complained to Giles and anyone who would listen that she wanted to be a normal girl and have a life but Buffy realised now that she'd had just that back then. Compared to now, when all she could be was the Slayer. She bossed around the Potentials because they needed it; she took things out on her friends because they had to prepare for war. The First Slayer had once told her she was full of love but recently Buffy had felt not full of much at all.

Then, of course, Spike had to come in with one of his inspiration speeches – calling her the one, telling her all the things she'd ever wanted to hear...from _Angel. _From Riley. From practically anyone but him. But that was Spike all over. Always defying convention, never doing what she expected. He had given her the strength she needed that night and now it was time to repay him. To help him get back what he had lost, and hopefully, wanted to find once again.

"So, where are you taking him anyway?"

Buffy blinked, cleared her throat "I don't know. Where do you take a vampire on a date?"

Willow raised her hand "Oh! Oh! I know this one – a blood bank!"

"Ha ha" Buffy rolled her eyes, smiling "I mean it. For all this time he's been around...I don't know Spike that well. I never paid attention. I don't know what he likes"

"Sure you do – blood, beer, cigarettes, sarcasm and you"

"That helps" She groaned "Maybe I should just take him patrolling on the premise of a moonlight walk. That way I get some work done too"

Willow smacked the other girl's head "Buffy!"

"Ow! Hey! What?"

"All you think about is work, work, work," She sighed "You're twenty-two and about to go out on a date with a guy who may be considered attractive by those crazy heterosexual friends of yours. Hell, even I can admit Spike's pretty. So, you need to relax. Get in the date-zone. This is meant to be about reminding him why he loves you in the first place. Ergo – there must be moonlight, music, love and romance"

Buffy tilted her head "Let's face the music and dance?"

"Exactly"

"I don't know, Willow. Spike fell in love with me because I was the Slayer and beat him up a lot"

"You think?"

She shrugged "It's not like his brain makes any kind of sense to me. He comes out with these horrible things one minute, then the next he's like a Backstreet Boy member – cute, wholesome, looks good in the rain"

"I wouldn't let Spike hear that comparison if I were you" Willow smiled.

"My point is I don't understand how his thought process works. For all I know, patrolling is his ideal date. He gets to kill stuff _and_ spend time with me. What a great deal!" Buffy sighed, leaning her elbows on the vanity table.

Willow placed her hands on the Slayer's shoulders and leaned her head down "Maybe that's exactly right. Maybe it doesn't matter where you take Spike, as long as you're there. Although, no patrol. I decree that this night is strictly not about slaying"

"Yes, mother" She replied glibly.

"Now, go get him, girl!" Willow beamed.

Buffy stood sluggishly "If this all goes to hell, I'm blaming you"

"Me? Why me?"

"Because I'm hardly going to blame myself, am I?" She smiled grabbing her jacket off the bed where it had been decorating the slumbering Faith nicely "That's just not a Buffy thing to do"

Willow smiled as Buffy left "She's all grown up"

------------------------------

Spike looked at the mirror and cursed his lack of reflection. He would have really liked to have known at that point if the Scoobies constant barbs about his hair were true. What if he really _did_ look like a big Q-Tip? No point in worrying about that now. He'd had this look for a fair few years now and had never had trouble attracting girls. This was the Slayer, however, and everyone knew she had a thing for men with quaffed hair. Well, screw her then. She could take him as he was or leave him.

He started to fidget with the collar of his blue shirt, wondered if maybe he should have stuck with the classic black T-shirt. He grunted to himself, sat down on the toilet, head in hands. What was she doing to him? He was all worked up like a horny schoolboy. It wasn't as if this was even a real date. Slayer just wanted something out of him. A date for a spell.

There was a light knocking at the door and suddenly he was nervous all over again. Hiding out in the Slayer's bathroom because he was afraid to go out on a date with her? It was bloody insane, was what it was. Spike stood and brushed down his shirt, fixing the collar. He cleared his throat and swaggered over to the door pulling it open.

For an instance his bravado slipped away. She looked absolutely stunning. The Slayer cleaned up well, it seemed, although she still looked great dirty to him. He closed his gaping mouth before she noticed it and leaned up against the door, eyes sweeping over her unabashed. Buffy stood uncomfortably, fidgeting with her hands.

"Andrew said you were in here," She explained "he said you had been for the past forty-five minutes"

Spike made a mental note to kill that boy. "Tosser doesn't know what he's talking about. You know, I said seven and it's five past now"

"I'm sorry, I was making myself pretty for you" Buffy replied, face blank but with a tone in her voice that made it clear she would only take so much pushing from him.

Spike smiled slowly. He could get used to this. He'd always enjoyed their banter. Made an art out of thinking up clever things to hurt her with. She'd always got her job done there, too. They were an even match in a lot of departments. Spike had to wonder on whether that extended to the bedroom.

"Well, you did a good job with that," He stepped out of the bathroom and closed the door "Look smashing, you do"

A light blush found its way onto the Slayer's cheeks "It's been brought to my attention, that you might be considered attractive too. To lesbian's, anyway"

Spike laughed "Well, that's something to tell the grandkids"

Buffy gestured for him to start walking "And the likelihood of you ever producing grandchildren is?"

"Well, you never know. Stranger things have happened." He glanced over his shoulder at her "Speaking of, where are we going?"

She shrugged "I figured we'd go where the night takes us"

"Can the night take us to somewhere I can get you drunk?"

Buffy slapped him on the side and he laughed as he pulled the door open for her and they walked out into the darkness.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: No, I've never read that article where James said his head was like a Q-tip! Co-in-ci-dence. hehe. Sorry this has taken so long and if you're following any of my other stories...my computer has practically blown up (okay, maybe not that bad) and it may take a long while for updates to get back to normal speed.**

Spike glanced at the Slayer as they walked down the street "You know we're going to end up at the Bronze"

"What?" Buffy frowned "How do you know that?"

He shrugged "It's where you lot always go on your dates, or your night's out, or on the day's that end with y"

"That is _so _not true"

"I think you'll find it is" Spike smirked.

"We won't end up the Bronze" She turned to him, pointing "So, that's that"

-------------

"Okay," Buffy acquiesced as a waitress set her drink down in front of her "so we ended up at the Bronze. Nothing wrong with that."

Spike nodded, sipping his beer "Right. Good to go with what you know"

"Exactly. The Bronze is reliable and comfy and not too costly and…"

"…and you're describing Giles" Spike grinned.

Buffy shook her head, outraged "I am not...Giles has been known to charge exorbitant rates"

She watched as his smile grew and a short chuckle escaped his lips. Maybe, this wouldn't be so bad. It was good to see Spike smile and laugh and it was good to feel herself smile back. Everything had been chock full of doom and gloom for the latter part of this year. Maybe Willow had been right and it was time to unwind. They were both adults. Okay, so, technically, Spike was a lot older and deader than she was. No point in thinking too much about that, though.

The Slayer picked up her drink and swallowed it. It had low alcohol content and didn't taste too much like cat urine, which was why she had chosen it. Not that she knew much about the taste of cat urine. The point of the matter was that she wouldn't get drunk. Tonight would not be a good night to get drunk. Partly, because they were in the middle of the end of the world but mostly because she was in Spike's company and soberness was good.

The vampire was grousing about the menu "Where the hell is the onion?"

"What?" She asked, eyebrow raised.

"Flowering onion, hello!" Spike said matter-of-factly "It's the best thing on here, or it was at least. It had a major comeback last year but now they've ballsed it around again! God, I hate America"

Buffy nodded "Sure. That's why you've been here for... how many decades is it now?"

"Gives me something to bitch over" He explained "it's the only reason I stay"

"Why do you even care about food?"

"Come again?"

"You don't need to eat. And it's been my understanding that you can't taste the food, so what's the big deal?"

Spike snorted "I can taste it. If the food's strong enough I can just about taste it"

"Hence the onion love."

He put the menu down and looked down at the tabletop awkwardly "So, what exactly do people do on dates?"

Buffy's face registered her surprise "You've never been on one?"

"Well, yes," Spike laughed loudly and forced "of course I have! Just, not, you know…okay, no. No, I haven't. Not really. I mean, I've been out with girls but I've never been on a _date_ date. Why do they call it that, anyway? Could be named after the fruit I suppose –"

"Spike!" She said quickly to cut him off "One thing people do on dates? Not talk so much"

He stared at her sullenly.

"Okay, they also don't go all silent." Buffy held her hands up to represent weighing scales "There's supposed to be a healthy balance."

Spike snorted "I'm not five, you know"

"Yeah, I know. You're totally old. How old are you anyway?"

"It's rude to ask, Buffy"

She snorted "Right. I forgot you're such a lady"

He leaned back in his chair; arms folded "Know what? That insane notion about me ever being in love with you is getting even more insane"

"Oh, please" Buffy rolled her eyes "We're not programmed to get on"

Spike sat forward again, wicked gleam in his eyes "But we are programmed to get it on?"

"No! No. That wasn't even…that was a total disaster"

He nodded, looking sombre "Must have been. I can't imagine you could have held my attention for very long. I probably moved on to better things"

She looked offended "Hey, I rocked your world, bucko!"

"Oh, I'm sure" Spike looked unaffected.

"We had balcony sex on that very balcony!" She yelled, pointing towards the offending object.

Several people in the club turned to look at her and Spike glanced up at where she was pointing before turning back to her with a wolfish grin on his face.

Buffy glared at him as she felt her face heat up. He had _so_tricked her into that one. She tipped the remainder of her drink down her throat and ordered herself up another one. Maybe being a little drunk wouldn't do any harm. Eventually people went back to their own conversation and Spike sat opposite her looking very smug indeed. She'd have to wipe that look off his face as soon as possible, that was clear.

Spike quirked an eyebrow "I wouldn't have seen you as the type who likes to be watched. Well, actually, I _would_ have seen that but that's because I'm a filthy sod. S'pose it makes sense, though -"

"This is the part where you crack some really witty joke about me having a Watcher, isn't it? Well, don't even! Giles and my sex life must be kept seperate. At. All. Times"

He saluted "Aye, aye. So...about this sex life..."

"Spike," Buffy locked eyes with him "I'm not about to discuss that with you"

"What! But I was supposedly a part of it"

She gave a half-shrug "Do the spell, you get all the memories back"

Spike paused then shook his head "Providing I take your word for it that all this even happened"

"Oh, come on!" She rolled her eyes "Do you _really_think I'd make that up?"

"Well...I do suppose it might be outside your realm of intelligence to think of something so dirty. Then again, you're a crafty one, Slayer"

Buffy folded her arms and glared "_You_ are calling me dumb? At least _I_didn't go and get myself knocked up by an anti-love spell"

"Knocked...?" Spike just sighed and smiled "I bet you wish you had, though, right? Get me out of your pretty little head"

She arched an eyebrow "What makes you think you're in my head?"

"Well, I must be. I figure there must be some reciprocation of these so-called feelings, otherwise why would you care? I'm still willing to fight the good fight. Love of a good woman, or no love of a good woman"

Buffy eyed him for a moment before looking down at the table-top. The complete picture of non-commital.

Spike smiled slowly "Stumped you there, love."

She looked up, something new in her eyes that he couldn't quite fathom. Slowly she ran her gaze over his face and then she stood. He was worried he'd pissed her off enough for her to storm out. That'd be no fun at all.

"Let's dance." She suggested.

"Dance?" He nearly gaped, "You and me?"

She smiled slyly, eyes twinkling "It's all we ever do"

Spike frowned, puzzled "You've lost me, pet"

"Not yet, hopefully" Buffy took his hand and pulled him up "And, you know what? The world's ending. I haven't been dancing in so long and I'm well aware that everyone thinks I'm now the biggest square on the planet"

Spike looked down at their hands entiwned but remained lighthearted "No one thinks that. Mostly because no one uses the word 'square' in that context anymore but -"

She gave his arm a jerk and started off towards the dancefloor before he could say another word. Spike let himself be led. There were a few people on the dance floor and there was music playing but he couldn't concentrate on what it was. He was too busy noticing how strange it felt to have the Slayer's tiny, but pleasantly warm, hand in his.

"Time to see if Spikey can dance" Buffy teased him playfully, turning towards him.

Spike placed his hands on her hips without hesitation "I can hold my own. Might have a bit of trouble with the bump and grind, though."

"Not that I noticed" She grinned.

His lips parted incredulously but he said nothing as the girl in his arms linked her hands behind his neck and pressed their chests flush against one another.

It was strange being this close to the Slayer. She never let him this close. At least, not that he remembered. She felt small and delicate in his hands. Had lost a fair bit of weight recently but the tired resignment her face usually portrayed was gone, replaced by something Spike didn't get to see enough - she was okay. She was alright. She wasn't overjoyed but she looked as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, if only for a little while.

He found himself wanting to make her look that way all the time.

_Careful, Spike_ his subconscious whispered,_ you don't actually_want _to fall for her_

They moved together slowly. Just getting the feel for each other, choosing a rhythm that worked. Spike had always thought that dancing was akin to sex in a lot of ways. Not as fun, of course. But similar, nevertheless.

"What are you thinking?" She asked.

He smiled wryly, "Trust me - you don't want to know"

A blush instantly spread across her neck and face causing his smile to widen.

"I'm dancing with Spike as the world's about to fall down around us..." Buffy mused, eyes averted away from him "it's kind of unreal"

"Fitting, I'd say. When the apocalypse is coming what better way to spend your last moments but dancing with the enemy?"

She did look at him then "You're not the enemy, Spike. You haven't been for a long time."

"You say that but...not one of your lot really trusts me"

"I do"

Spike shook his head "You shouldn't, you know. The First found a way to mess with me...who says something else won't?"

"If it does? We'll beat 'em." Buffy shrugged "We always do"

"And if we don't?"

"In a few days time...none of it will matter, anyway"

He sighed, a small smile playing at his lips "What I want to know is when _you_ became the logical one"

"I don't know." Buffy pulled a face of faux shock "But we must put a stop to it immediately!"

Spike chuckled and Buffy's face melted into a smile. He tentatively pulled her closer. He was prepared for a scolding but she said nothing. He wasn't even sure she noticed. She seemed comfortable around him. As though they weren't a Slayer and a vampire - two polar opposites.

He asked a question he needed to know the answer to.

"So, why am I in love with you then?"

Buffy swallowed, and didn't speak for a long while "I don't know. I've been nothing but a bitch to you"

"Always was a bit of a masochist"

She sighed "Me too, I guess. Considering what went on last year"

"What's that, then?"

Her eyes met his again and she looked like what she was going to say would hurt "I used you, after I came back from the grave. It started out as talk and ended up as...more. As worse. Just to feel. I didn't love you but...I hated myself and I hated you for still loving me. So, it all just...stuff just hit the fan"

"I..." He paused, absorbing this "I can't imagine me complaining"

"You didn't. That's what made it worse. It was like you were saying it was okay for me to treat you that way when it really wasn't"

Spike cleared his throat, shifted on his feet awkwardly "I have a hard time believing I was a completely innocent party in all this"

Buffy paused and they both just stood in the middle of the dance floor, still holding onto one another but no longer moving.

"No. You weren't. But...the details aren't important. We pretty much came up even in the abusing each other stakes. That's what made you get a soul"

Spike tilted his head "I think the details are important. What did I do? What did I do to you?"

"Spike..."

"No. Tell me, Buffy" He demanded "It must have been...if I went and got a soul it must have been bad. Really..."

She took a deep breath and her arms fell away from him "You tried..."

"I tried what?"

"You tried to rape me." Buffy finished finally, looking at him steadily.

The words swirled around in his head and Spike felt like he was going to throw up. He stumbled backwards a couple of steps away from her. She seemed to be saying something to him but he could no longer hear her.

Instead he knew he had to get out. He turned and ran leaving her standing in the middle of the club, alone.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry this update has been SO long. But computer issues. I'll be updating LLL soon, too. I hope.**

Buffy ran after the vampire, finding he had gotten no further than the alleyway of the Bronze. Spike was leaning against the wall with his back to her, his shoulders sunken. She walked slowly up to him and put a hand on his shoulder. He quickly shrugged it off and mumbled something she didn't understand. She took his wrist and tried to turn him around. This time he shook her off more violently.

"Don't do that," He growled, looking at her. "Don't touch me. How can you?"

She looked him in the eyes, surprised to see moisture building up there "Because you're different now, Spike"

"Why, 'cos of the soul?" He mocked.

"Yeah"

"You don't get it, do you? The soul is nothing" Spike turned to her, nostrils flaring "It's just a front. I don't need a soul to be good but I obviously must have thought I needed one to be worthy of you. Because you place so much importance on it. I was good before the soul! Or, at least, I thought I was…"

"You were"

He laughed bitterly "Right. 'Cos tryin' to rape you was real nice of me. Don't get me wrong, Buffy, I know I'm a monster. I know I've killed and I've enjoyed it but I've never done that. Never forced myself in that way upon anyone"

"And you didn't that time, I either. You didn't go through with it"

Spike regarded her, solemnly "And was that of my own accord or did you stop me?"

Buffy said nothing but her silence was enough. He let out a sound from deep in his throat and took off down the alleyway. She followed close behind, not being too pushy just waiting for when he'd be ready to talk. He looked like he might bolt at any minute. He turned a corner and they made their way back into suburbia. She wondered if he was heading back home and if so, it had been a pretty disastrous date.

"Why would you want me to love you, if that's how I go about it?" He asked quietly, hands deep in his pockets.

The Slayer came up to the side of him to walk with him "That was one time, Spike. And I don't condone it, far from it, but there were circumstances. Things that happened between us that made you think when I said no I meant yes. Ninety nine times out of a hundred you got it right"

"Yeah, well, not good enough"

"Spike, did you hear a thing I said earlier? We both did horrible and degrading things to each other. I beat you up so badly you didn't even look like you anymore" She said, still ashamed.

He snorted "That's not the same"

"Why? How is it okay to solve things with my fists? Just because you're the guy, doesn't mean anything. I'm stronger than you and _I _had a soul when I used you"

Spike cast a sideways glance at her "No offence, Slayer, but the way you tell it this thing we had sounds no fun at all"

Buffy smiled at that "It wasn't all doom and gloom…okay, so, mostly it _was_ but we had moments. I didn't want to be around anyone but you"

"Why's that, then?"

"I don't know." She shrugged "I guess because you understood me. You had to claw your way out of a coffin, too, and you took care of Dawn. When I came back I just…felt like I needed to be near you. Ever since we first saw each other again"

Spike sighed "I remember that. On the stairs, with Dawn. I don't…I can't remember how I felt at the time…it's like a fog…"

"The spell"

"And there are other things, too. Memories that are just blurry. Things I did that don't seem to make sense. Like getting the soul or sticking around with your lot after you'd died. I stayed with Dawn and I shouldn't have. I was a vampire, a chipped one, but why would I bother myself with the Slayer's kid sister?" He pondered aloud, frustrated.

Buffy smiled a little "Because I asked you too and you promised"

"Yeah, well…" Spike trailed off.

"And you love her, too. Don't pretend you don't" She nudged him gently in the ribs "And I don't think the spell's taken that away from you"

He shook his head "I do not! She's an annoying brat! And I don't like how tall she's getting. Makes me feel inadequate"

"Sounds like love to me"

"Oh, sod off" He grumbled.

She smiled again. He seemed to be getting back to his usual self so Buffy boldly threaded her arm through his. Spike looked at her for a moment before facing forward again and the two of them walked down the road arm in arm. She wondered if the night was salvageable after all. Not many first dates survived the attempted rape talk. This was different, though. She had to make this work or he wouldn't reverse the spell.

"Willow thinks I should let my hair down more often" She told him just to make conversation.

Spike nodded absently "It looks nice down"

Buffy laughed a little "Thanks, but she meant the less literal meaning"

"Oh, right" He looked down at the ground embarrassed "Well, it's understandable. You've got an army to lead. Have to set a good example"

"Yeah, well, maybe Faith was right. Maybe I should let them cut loose once in a while. Have some fun"

"Are we forgetting that Faith just got herself and a good portion of said army blown up?"

Buffy poked him in the arm, smiling "That's not funny"

"Of course not" Spike smiled back.

She was so relieved to see him smile again that she could forgive the subject matter that brought it about. A happy Spike was a spell-doing Spike. The sooner the spell was reversed the sooner they could go back to normal.

"I think I'm going to have to say this night has been a resounding failure" Spike looked up at the stars, blankly.

Buffy shook her head "Doesn't have to be over yet"

He looked at her questioningly.

"Let's stay out a bit longer, be wild and crazy and break curfew" She gave him a crooked grin.

He returned the smile "Giles might ground us. Or, you know, try to have me killed again"

"I'm willing to risk it"

"Oh, thanks"

"We've survived worse than Giles' assassination attempts. Like being engaged"

Spike laughed "You remember that? I assumed you'd had Willow erase it from your mind"

Buffy tilted her "_You_ remember that? I thought, what with the spell…"

"Must not have been in love with you then." He countered "Just fancied you something rotten"

She slapped him on the arm "You did not. We hated each other, then"

"Didn't mean I didn't enjoy having you cavorting on my lap"

"I was _not_ cavorting! I was merely…sitting"

"Right, sitting and wiggling about just to tease me"

Buffy gaped "So not true"

"Mmm hmm" Spike turned to her "You were a little tease, Summers. All the things you whispered to me that we never got around to doing. Frustrates a bloke, that"

She looked at him mischievously "Well, we got around to them later"

"You what? Even the…"

"Yep"

Spike was shocked "And…?"

"Uh huh"

"Bloody…" He took a deep breath "That alone is almost worth doing the spell to get the memories back"

Buffy smiled and took Spike's hand, entwining their fingers, so she could pull him over to a bench off to the side of them. They'd somehow made their way into Weatherly Park and were right by the duck pond. There were no ducks at this time of year, though, just still water with a bunch of lily pads and probably some frogs. Guess the little amphibians weren't wise enough to leave town before the apocalypse hit.

They sat close together, huddled for warmth. Buffy really wished she'd picked up her jacket before running after him. Goosebumps rose up on her arms and Spike seemed to notice at the same time she did. He sat up straighter and started undoing his shirt. When she noticed he clearly had nothing on underneath it she placed her hand on his and shook her head.

"You're cold, and I know it's not much but it's something to cover you better" Spike explained.

She looked pointedly at the flesh he had exposed "You're not wearing anything underneath"

"So? I'm a vampire, the cold doesn't bother me"

"Yeah, but half-naked Spike does bother me" Buffy responded "I'm seen way too much of him lately"

He smirked "Worry you'll get tempted, do you?"

She rolled her eyes "Oh, yeah. I can barely resist"

Spike laughed and then sighed as if he were put out. His gaze turned towards the duck pond in front of them and Buffy faced forward again too. She wasn't exactly sure what she should do. Spike wanted her to prove to him that he should love her. How exactly, was she supposed to do that? She could go the tried and tested route of having sex with him. Outside, in a public park. It could add to their long list of unsuitable places for sexual intercourse. It wouldn't be a wise idea, though. Buffy wasn't even sure she was ready to sleep with Spike again. Or if she ever would be. She couldn't decide what exactly it was that she wanted from him – an ally, a friend or a lover? Everything between them was so complicated. She'd never had a relationship with so many layers to it.

"Buffy," Spike said suddenly.

She blinked, turning to him "What?"

"We've got company"

That was when the demon emerged from the pond, snarling.


	8. Chapter 8

Buffy grunted, annoyed. Why did demons seem to follow her everywhere? Even on dates. Didn't she deserve a night off once in a while? The scaly thing stepping out of the pond and onto the ground didn't seem to think so. It hissed at her, oddly catlike, and sprang towards her. She noted its fingers were webbed as she jumped over the back of the bench and felt it slam into the place she had been sitting moments before.

Spike remained on the bench as he wrapped an arm around the things neck and attempted to choke the life out of it. The demon flopped about wildly and kicked up a webbed foot, striking the vampire hard in the face. He toppled to the ground, releasing the fishy guy.

Buffy sighed and vaulted back over the bench to land on the ground in front of the demon. It hissed again and ran at her. She rolled her eyes and sidestepped it, shoving it in the back as it went past. The demon careened head first into the bench this time, snapping the wood and half emerging from the other side of it. As it struggled to free itself Buffy grabbed it by its icky webby feet and yanked it clear, dragging it unceremoniously across the ground.

She was unprepared for it to flip up in the air, regardless of her hold on it, and knock her unbalanced. The Slayer stumbled backwards and fell to her ass on the muddy bank. Buffy was so busy bemoaning the indignity of it all that she barely paid attention to Spike jumping on the demons back and riding it buckaroo style.

Standing up and attempting to brush herself clean, she readied herself when the demon threw him off and came at her again. She aimed a kick at its head but the demon saw it coming and grabbed her foot, using immense strength to actually lift her off the ground and swing her through the air, letting go at the last second.

Buffy sailed through the air, yelling, and splashed into the murky pond.

Spluttering loudly she broke the surface of the pond, still stunned. It was deeper than it looked, coming up to mid-chest on her. And now she was drenched in stinky, dirty pond water and she swore something was brushing against her feet. Wiping water from her eyes she swam towards the bank where Spike was grappling with the demon. Buffy doubted this night could get any more humiliating as she had to drag herself up out of the pond, across the wet soil, using only some handy clumps of grass. Tendrils of pondweed snaked up her ankles and stuck in the heels of her boots.

The Slayer stood slowly and shook her hair, which was now stuck to her face in ratty, wet clumps. She found herself trying to remember if her mascara was waterproof or not. A quick touch of her cheeks told her that, no, it wasn't. Huffing she strode towards the demon as it was preoccupied with fighting Spike.

She lashed her foot out to kick it in the back of the knee, driving it to the ground. Then Buffy grabbed its head in both hands and twisted sharply. The loud pop echoed throughout the clearing for a moment and then the body fell to the floor.

Buffy turned away from Spike's roving eyes and the barely suppressed grin on his face. _God, my life blows._ She gathered her hair into a tail and squeezed as much of the remaining water out of it that she could. Her clothes were sodden and she was freezing, the night air all the harsher now.

Spike trudged around in front of her and opened his mouth to speak.

"Do. Not. Even." She warned him. "Not a word."

He looked down at her and pointed to her chest. "Well, alright, but I was going to tell you about _that_"

Looking down she saw that her top had gone pretty much see-through. Buffy quickly folded her arms over her breasts and was glad she had worn a bra. Small mercies.

"Great. This has just been the best date ever!" she snarled, stomping towards the exit of the park.

Spike jogged up after her. "We need to get you somewhere warm. Any one of the abandoned houses will do. Since everyone up sticks and left Sunnydale."

She frowned at him. "No. I'm going home."

"And have everyone see you touting the drowned rat look?"

"Thanks." Buffy scowled, and then paused. "It _is_ a ten minute walk back to the house. I guess I could do with cleaning up."

Spike nodded once and accompanied her out of the park. A group of teenagers were milling around outside the entrance and upon seeing her let out a cacophony of wolf-whistles and laughter. Buffy felt her cheeks flame red and wanted to slay all of them. Spike vamped out instead and growled at them causing them to all run away screaming. Buffy gave him a grateful look and they carried on up the street.

The first house they came to looked dark and uninviting. Spike couldn't hear any heartbeats coming from inside and decided that no one was living there, unless they were dead which still meant they weren't living there.

Spike kicked the door open and stepped over the threshold confirming that no one occupied the house any longer. Buffy followed him in and immediately searched for the bathroom whilst Spike disappeared into another part of the house.

Once she had found the room she closed the door behind her and stripped off the wet clothes, glad to rid of them. The water in the shower would only come out cold and Buffy stood there shivering underneath it as she attempted to get all the weed off of her. By the time she was done there was a ring of brown scum around the drain hole. The Slayer grimaced at it and stepped out of the shower, drying herself off with a towel and then wrapping it tightly around her collarbone. She looked around the bathroom for a comb but couldn't find one.

Looking in the mirror Buffy wondered if perhaps this day had been karma for all the crap she had put everyone through lately. If so, karma sucked.

Spike knocked on the door suddenly, nearly making her jump out of her skin. Making sure the towel was secure she opened the door and peeked out.

"Got you some clothes." He held up a pile in his hands. "Not exactly this seasons must haves but it's all there was."

Buffy nodded and took the garments from him before shutting the door again. She quickly slipped the clothes on, not exactly ecstatic at the thought of how she would look in grey jogging sweats that were both too long and too loose on her and a dark blue UC Sunnydale sweater that was ripped underneath the arm in what Buffy assumed was some attempt to ventilate sweaty armpits. Or maybe she was just in a bitchy mood.

Combing her fingers through her hair as best she could, the Slayer stepped out of the bathroom and ventured into the living room. Spike was crouched on the floor in front of the fireplace, tending to the burning logs. Just as she was about to ask how he even lit the fire he flicked his metal lighter closed and tucked it into his pocket.

The room was sparse and by sparse, she meant it was empty. Devoid of any furniture or any sign of life apart from a pile of blankets on the floor that she assumed Spike had gathered, and the slightly lighter patches on the walls where photographs had once been displayed.

Spike turned, sensing her there and looked her up and down. "What a pretty picture you make."

Buffy shot him the finger and he laughed as he stood up, blanket in hand. Instead of just offering it to her like she assumed he would, Spike unfurled it and wrapped it around her shoulders himself. Her eyes flickered up to watch his face as his hands lingered on her arms for a moment longer than loved-up-and-souled-up Spike would have even considered. Then he took a step back, blinked, and motioned towards the fire.

Buffy exhaled deeply and sat down on the rest of the blankets he spread across the floor. Spike hesitated a moment before sitting next to her. The heat from the fire made her feel a little better even if she did still look like a homeless person. Even so…the whole 'in an abandoned house in front of a roaring fire' deal was hopelessly romantic. She knew it was the kind of thing Mills and Boon would approve of.

Stealthily, Buffy peeked at Spike from the corner of her eye. He was staring at her and she averted said eye quickly.

Spike spoke softly, "So, what now?"


	9. Chapter 9

_What now?_

_Such a good question._

It was a shame Buffy didn't have an answer for it. Here they were – alone, on a date, she was dressed in some Oxfam reject clothes, and he kept looking at her like he expected her to stake him at any minute. Maybe if she did that it would make things a lot easier for her. That time was passed, though. She could no more stake Spike than she could kill Willow or Xander or Giles. He was a part of her now.

And, strangely? That didn't scare her anymore.

Buffy looked away from the fire and locked eyes with Spike. "I guess that's up to you, Spike. This date has been a disaster. It wouldn't surprise me if you decided not to go through with the spell. If you don't…that's your call. I won't force you."

"Hmm. Given up on me already, Slayer?" He questioned, rueful.

"No. You just seem happier now that you don't love me," she glanced down at the floor. "I'm not exactly known for making guys happy."

"I recall a certain moment of happiness clause with a certain hair gelled wanker…"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "That was a long time ago. I'm not the same person anymore. I know…I'm colder now; it's harder for me to let people in. Especially you."

Spike chuckled sadly. "But, let me guess, I keep trying? Like a bloody parasite."

"Not like a parasite. More like a…a very persistent…guy…who is persistent." Buffy frowned. "I'm not so good with the metaphors."

"That's more of a simile. A bad one, at that."

Buffy punched him on the arm. "Yeah, okay. I'm not so smart either. But I'm still not going to force you into the spell. Or even try to convince you."

"Why?"

"You know the saying. If you love something, set it free…" Buffy paused, then her eyes widened considerably. "Uh, what I mean to say is…"

Spike smiled. "You _love_ me?"

The Slayer turned back to the fire, unmoving. She had about a million thoughts running through her head all at the same time. Did she love him? Buffy didn't even think she knew what love was anymore. Which meant that it was _possible_ she loved Spike. It wasn't the naïve fluffy-bunny love she had with Angel. Nor was it the kind of 'he's a good man and treats me right' love she'd had with Riley. It was something entirely different. It was nowhere near as clean-cut. In fact, it was downright messy.

So, she answered with the truth.

"Maybe." She shrugged with one shoulder, eyes still firmly fixed away from him.

Spike grinned wolfishly. "You _do_! You do love me. It's written all over your face. Damn, I'm good."

Buffy did turn to him then, eyebrow arched. "Not really. I mean, you're not my Spike."

"Near enough. Still the same bloke." Spike was still grinning. "I should've tried to cop off with a Slayer a long time ago…it's my magnetism, you know…"

Buffy rolled her eyes and turned back to the fire again but she had to stop a laugh escaping from her lips. This whole night had been totally insane and now here she was finally telling Spike that she maybe possibly could perhaps love him and he was bragging about his good looks and charm. It was oddly hilarious. She knew that if this revelation had been made to _her_ Spike, that he probably would have just sat in stunned silence for two days.

As it was, she couldn't shut Spike up.

"…of course, I've had a _lot _of experience and I'm no doubt much more accommodating than Angelus was, so it's natural that you would feel that way…"

Buffy smiled to herself. It was strange that an anti-love spell would bring them to this moment. She just couldn't see herself being able to speak to Spike about this in normal circumstances. She probably wouldn't have even come to her little half-revelation. She still didn't know for sure if what she felt was love but if it wasn't, it was something just as big and just as real and just as important. Maybe what she was feeling didn't even have a name.

_Maybe I discovered a new emotion! Cool!_ The Slayer thought to herself, Spike still droning on in the background. Just as she was contemplating what she should name this new-found feeling, she was snapped out of her train of thought.

"Buffy."

Blinking, she turned to him "Yeah?"

"I'll do your spell," he informed her, his voice quiet.

She smiled softly. "Thank you."

Then they just sat there on the blanket in the living room of an empty house and stared at one another. Buffy could see the reflection of the flames in his eyes, it painted an enchanting picture. She started to think of doing something stupid – like kissing him – so she cleared her throat and looked away.

"S'pose we should head back to HQ, then." Spike sighed, standing up and stretching.

Buffy couldn't help but notice the way his shirt rode up and exposed a long line of pale, lean stomach. He saw her looking but didn't comment, didn't even smirk once, instead offering her his hand to help her up. She took it and stood, neither of them letting go of each other as soon as they should have done. In fact, Buffy was tempted to just hold his hand all the way back home. What a stir that would have caused.

"Gotta hand it to you, Buffy," he smiled. "You don't half make an interesting date."

She flushed with embarrassment. "Hey, not all my dates turn out like this! Okay…most of them are _worse_ but…"

Spike chuckled. "Well, I think it's time I walk you home. It's only proper." He held his arm out for her.

Buffy found him totally lame and cheesy for saying it but she didn't mind. Lame and cheesy was nice sometimes. Especially when it came in the form of someone as hot as Spike. Or, technically, room temperature.

She threaded her arm through his and they made their way back home. Buffy had a feeling that things could only look up from here on out.


End file.
